Got No Dough - Saving Money in Slim Times

A lot of time has passed and while I’d love to say that I’ve been out working on a super secret research project - I’m just not a good liar.  The truth is that our cable was shut off and with the cable goes my internet connection.  No internet connection = no blogging.

On a side note, I guess I’ve technically been researching some things though.  You know all those sites that tell you how to make your own “fill in the blank” and save money?  I’ve actually been trying some of those things out and I’m a little surprised.  Some things were difficult to make, some didn’t work how they were supposed to and some of the things I thought would be most difficult were a piece of cake.

I’ll let you know the results of my efforts over the coming days (maybe weeks if I can’t get a wireless connection).  It’s definitely been a journey!

It’s always a little awkward when you have some kind of injury because the first thing people think is domestic violence.  Despite the fact that my husband and I would love to strangle each other, this beating did come from my son’s hard head.

And my husband loves to make jokes during serious times to lighten things up.  It drives me crazy sometimes because I tend to be a very serious person, but he came up with something last night that really made me laugh.  We were making jokes about what would be written on our tombstone when we die and he said that this is what he will have put on mine:

Here she lies, a desert rose
Buried at an angle
To match her crooked nose

And without further ado…here are the pictures.  I realize it probably doesn’t look very noticeable, but I’m a bit self conscious nonetheless.

I want to thank everyone for your words of encouragement.  They have meant more to me than you will know.

Next, I want to say I was quite shocked to have received donations from two people.  I completely forgot that I had even put a donation button on my site, but it couldn’t have come at a better time.

I want to sent a HUGE thank you to John Chow and Flora.  I wanted to post these pictures to show you the effects of your kindness.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

This has taken such a stress off of my shoulders and I will forever remember this special thing you’ve done for me.

My blog has not been my priority over the last couple of weeks and when I have posted it has only been half-heartedly.  Ideally, I’d love to take a few hours each day to plan topics and write these long meaningful posts, but life brings me back to reality and tells me that it is impossible.  On top of that, we’ve really been hit with several struggles recently and it’s been difficult to say the least.

I read a post by John Chow about the number one reason for his success and  it made me realize the first reason why things are not going so well.  The relationship between my husband and I has been shaky to say the least and we have spent the past couple of months talking about divorce.  It’s a very hard thing to say publicly, because there are only one or two people in real life who knows what’s going on.  Right now though, we’re both of the agreement that we are going to fight with everything we have to try to work it out.

Secondly, (and probably one of the primary reasons for our marriage problems) is that our finances are in absolute disarray.  On Blogging Away Debt, I read a post about a guy who owes $54,000 and spends $2,000 more than he earns each month and I feel like it really struck a chord.  That could definitely be us in a couple of years if something doesn’t change.  We’re constantly falling behind in our monthly bills and haven’t paid our creditors in a few months.  Whenever we come into money (Christmas, birthdays, etc.) I have to use that money to catch up on our utilities and avoid having them shut off.

And, I know the finances are really having an impact on me mentally because I’m just constantly exhausted anymore.  I think I’ve definitely hit frugality burnout but when there’s no other option, what choice do you have?

Lastly, this morning I feel like I’ve hit an all time low.  We do not have health insurance and that’s worried me a bit considering my Mother-in-Law just had to have surgery with no health insurance.  But you know, when it rains, it pours.  I was laying on the bed this morning and my son threw his head against my face.  I instantly heard a snapping sound and felt immense pain.  I’m 90% sure my nose is broken because it has this tell-tale curve to it now.  No insurance means I’m going to have to live with it though.  I’m hoping once the slight swelling goes down that it won’t be too noticeable, but for a woman - the face is the most terrible place to have something wrong.

On that note, I’m debating taking this blog any further.  I won’t give up blogging completely, but the frugal topic is overused, which makes it difficult to come up with things that someone else hasn’t already talked about.  Then comes the point where people needlessly call you cheap and it just really makes you start doubting yourself.

So, that’s it in a nutshell.  I wanted to at least post an update to break the silence.

I first read about this yesterday when Naomi posted it on IttyBiz.  There is a fellow blogger named RT Cunningham and his wife is here in the US and facing surgery.  He is going to have to raise the money for a plane ticket, slightly abandon his blog and rush here to be with his wife as she goes through this scary ordeal.  Please read about his situation and donate if you can!

I for one tend to be a skeptic when I hear stories like this - but this one just really tugged on my heartstrings.  It takes a lot of humility to ask for help when you need it - but it’s a double blessing when you allow someone to do something for you.

I wanted to take a brief moment to apologize for my absence on my blog.  Please understand though, that this is my first day off in 12 days.

• While others were grumbling about having to work, I was grateful for having a job.
• While others were miserable at having to be at work at 5am on the weekend, I was so incredibly grateful for overtime.
• While others were complaining about how their feet hurt, I was just grateful for being able to walk.

I’ve come to realize more and more that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.  Instead of being miserable in your situation, be thankful.  Instead of wishing you were somewhere else, realize that the person that is elsewhere wishes they were in your shoes.  Be thankful for who you are, where you are and with what you have.  And above all, value your time off.  Make the most of it and allow yourself to be renewed.

I read a lot of blogs each day about reducing debt and saving money. What do you do though when you don’t even have enough money to pay your bills or buy groceries, let alone pay down your debt? You have to go into financial crisis mode.

Here’s an example of financial crisis:

Checking Account Balance: -$122.81
Savings Account Balance: $3.19
Next Payday: $400 on 11/30

Rent: $945 - Due 12/1/07
Electricity: $59.31 - Past due 1 month
Gas: $56.79 - Past due 2 months
Cell Phone: $308.01 - Past due 2 months
Cable & Internet: $165.49 - Past due 2 months
Car Payment: $191.22 - Due 12/14/07
Auto Insurance: $118.00 - Due 12/1/07

Credit Card Debt: $15,000 - all past due 3-6 months

Pretty bleak picture, don’t you think? Truth be told, it’s what me and my family are up against. Here are some basic strategies for surviving when times are hard.

1. Immediately cut out any unnecessary expenses. There are a lot of things that most people will overlook, so here is a list to get you started:
   • Cancel all newspapers and magazines
   • Cancel any gym memberships
   • If you have a cell phone, consider canceling home phone service
   • Keep a bare bones cell phone package
   • Do not eat out - this includes drinks
   • Cancel home internet service and use a public hotspot
   • Cut your hair at home
   • Only buy the necessities at the grocery store and make cheap meals
2. See if you can qualify for any kind of public assistance. Whether it’s cash aid to help you pay your bills or a food stamp program to help with groceries, if you need it, then you should use it. There can be a huge pride issue with this one, but think of your family and their needs. This does not have to be a long term solution and maybe you’ll only need it for a month or two.
3. Find sources of additional income. In addition to our jobs, here are some other ways I’ve made extra money over the past month:
   • eBay - you can sell old clothing, books, or things in your garage. Keep the items small because otherwise shipping will cost a fortune.
   • Craigslist - for the items too large to sell on eBay, I’ve sold on my local Craigslist page. Most recently we sold a baby gate and our baby swing.
   • Part time work - many companies are looking for part time workers now that the holidays are here. Check the mall for retail jobs or maybe a local restaurant for a night time waitressing position.

Above all else, stay positive.  I am not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel right now, but that doesn’t stop me from continuing to put one foot in front of the other.  Make sure that when your expenses are more than your income that you put priorities on your expenditures.  Food and shelter should be at the top of that list and everything else comes after.  Continue making cuts until you are at least breaking even each month.  Then, from there, you can continue making changes until you are coming out ahead each month and can follow the debt reduction plans that others talk about.

It’s very easy to find things to gripe and moan about. I know, because I tend to do it and my moan list is getting longer by the day. Today however, I will choose to focus on the things that are GOOD in my life and the things that I am grateful for.

1. First and foremost, my husband. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs these past five years but through it all, he has stuck by me. Through my mood swings, hurtful words and stupid decisions he can still say that he loves me.
2. My two absolutely beautiful boys. There is nothing more fulfilling than holding one of them in each arm and squeezing them.
3. A roof over my head. I actually love my apartment and our rent is really reasonable for this area.
4. A car that gets me from point A to point B. I spent several years riding the bus and it’s a horrible thing. Ever since then I’ve learned to be grateful for having a vehicle. As a bonus, it’s actually a car that I’m not ashamed to be seen in!
5. A job that has benefits. I just left a job where the owners were very verbally abusive and am so incredibly grateful for the new job that I started.
6. Food in my cupboards. I felt like old mother Hubbard for awhile because we had so little food but we were blessed this past week by our in-laws and are set for the next couple of weeks.
7. The health of my family and friends. Some of my older relatives are starting to see some decline in their health, but overall there has been nothing major or catastrophic.

While there are many things to be grateful for, these are the major things in my life. I’ll try to make a point to focus on these things each day instead of the negative.

A special thank you to the new friends I’ve made over the past month as I’ve started this journey blogging.

I just have to write this quick little tidbit in regards to what I wrote earlier about how to save gas.  Tip number five says to accelerate slowly.  Apparently I wasn’t clear enough about this.

There is one very distinct time that I do not want you in front of me taking your time accelerating and that is when you’re merging onto the freeway.  When you’re entering the freeway, please press the gas pedal down all the way and GO with the flow of traffic.  Not doing so is very dangerous for you and anyone behind you.

Just this morning I was trying to get on the freeway and the guy in front of me was doing about 35 mph.  I’m stuck, the lane is ending and all I see in my rear view mirror is a car bearing down on me at 75 mph.  Can’t change lanes so I have to close my eyes and wish for the best.  Luckily the car behind me was able to change lanes so I was safe, but the guy in front of me was completely clueless and finally sped up to a whopping 40 mph.  Needless to say, I knew I had to come home and write this so I could clarify myself.

So here is one time I do not want you to try to save money, gas or anything else.  Waste your gas and keep yourself from getting killed.

And now for my next tip:  how to proceed at a four way stop.  Ok, only kidding, but I really would LOVE to teach some people how to drive.